[ Warning: Includes self-harm. ]
You feel horrible. Your mother-lusus-best friend just died of starvation and you didn’t even do anything about it. You are such a stupid waste. Nobody likes you. You are horrible, low-blooded, mutant, disgusting, pathetic- You listen to them, the voices, get worse with your mood, calling you names and they’re telling the truth. You’ve forgotten completely about John proposing to you, about Tavros, about Eridan, about everyone and everything but the guilt that hung from your stupid bifurcated soul.
Your hands open a drawer in your desk and pull out a pen. You look at it for a while, then place your wrist on the desk, and without even flinching, you slam the red pen nib-first into your wrist. It goes in about much resistance, and you stare at it. Just… stare. You don’t feel a thing.
You pull the pen out of your wrist and watch yellow blood roll down your arm in mild distaste. Shaking your head, you get up and walk out of your respite block, walk down to your ablution block so you can clean up your wrist and wrap it up.
“that wa2 2tupiid.”
You bite your lip and tilt your head slightly, carding your fingers through his hair.
GA: I Wish It Were That Easy S0llux
GA: I Cann0t Pr0mise Y0u Anything
GA: I Want T0 Say Yes But I Refuse T0 Lie T0 Y0uYou drape your arms over his shoulders and kneel behind him, your forehead brushing against the back of his neck.
GA: I L0ve Y0u
GA: I’m N0t Supp0sed T0 Kn0w What That Means But I Think I Understand N0w
GA: Y0u D0 N0t Have T0 Smile F0r Me S0llux
GA: But It Brings Me Great C0mf0rt T0 Kn0w That There Is Still A Glimmer 0f S0mething Pure 0n The Ethereal Plane
GA: I Am Immensely Pr0ud 0f Y0uYou bow your head slightly, squeezing him with the very gentlest of motions.
GA: Please Cl0se Y0ur Eyes N0w
GA: I W0uld Like T0 Kiss Y0u
oh….
Your eyes dim further, and you laugh sadly.
ii love you two, kan…
ii really want you two come back…
Your close your eyes and sigh.
okay…
my eye2 are clo2ed, kan…
…yeah I went there.
Just because…
Holyshit the eyes and the personality.
And well… Karkat could have combined their DNA with a bit of human.
That would also explain his tiny horns.
…I’m half was joking with this theory though.
….
then…
I like this.
Holy shit, I like this idea.
‘Cept it means that my Sol is engaged to his daddy.
==> You return the kiss, and rub the back oh his neck. You’ve managed to keep your STRENGTH under control, and there was no need to get violent with him, so long as he was well behaved.
D —> As do I
D —> If you’d like, leave a mark on me
==> You slide one of your claws down his chest, only a light tickle.
D —> Or sh001d I leave one on you
hehe…
do what you wii2h…
>You place a hand on his side, index and middle claw pressed against the skin. You drag them downward, forming two small cuts, then make the arches on either pole of your symbol. It was small, minuscule, but it would do the job for a little while. You wonder if he’ll cut his symbol into you…
==> You smirk, and run a hand through his hair.
D —> Comply with me and I will be soft like a summer peach
D —> I do not bite
D —> Unless you like it
….
ii may not liike biitiing all that much, but ii do liike 2cratche2…
>You grin up at him and lean to place a kiss to his lips. You’ll do this, he’s promised to be gentle. You still sound a bit nervous though.
ju2t don’t t-tear open my 2car2, hehe…
You skirt around the edges of Sollux’s vision; as a phantom, they cast a bright light wherever his vision is able to detect. You want to be here, you want to comfort him and mother him forever and never let him out of your arms again.
But when a hand enters his field of vision, it is covered in blood, the same hand you used to write out your final farewells. He would only see you as the emaciated, bloodied skeleton you had ended up as, and you want nothing less than that. You move behind him and place your hands on his shoulders, sending him messages mentally.
GA: I Want That S0llux
GA: M0re Than Y0u C0uld Ever Kn0w
GA: Cl0se Y0ur Eyes And Feel MeYou wrap your arms around his front, resting your chin atop his head. You can feel him shaking and you ache for having done this to him.
GA: It Is Alm0st Perfect
You swear you saw something jade in your peripheral vision, but it disappears as soon as you try to focus on it. You sigh shakily and jump when you feel her arms around you, leaning a bit onto your ghostly friend.
kan…
Your voice is cracking, broken with tears.
a-almo2t….
c-can you promii2e m-me 2omethiing?
You look up at the corner where the wall meets the ceiling.
can you p-plea2e come back for me?
iif i-ii 2miille?
==> You observe the scars quietly, and let your hands trail over each, if only for an excuse to touch him more without scaring him. They were the same mustard yellow as his blood. Normally you weren’t fond of this color, but on him it looked quite good. You let your hand trail upwards, up his shirt and to his chest.
D —> Still afraid of me
D —> I may be dominant
D —> But if you comply, then there is no need to fear
D —> I will only be forcefoal if you oppose me
ii…
>You bite your lip, feeling the flesh easily give way under your stupid, sharp teeth. You curse to yourself and place a hand on his arm.
okay…
y-you really aren’t goiing two hurt me, riight?
>Better safe than sorry.